Beyond the Break by Kristen Mae

Author:Kristen Mae [Mae, Kristen]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi, azw3
Publisher: Tritone Literary Publishers
Published: 2016-06-22T18:00:00+00:00

EIGHTEEN

Claire turned up with a box of pastries minutes after Iris rode away. Her pretty, gap-toothed grin faded the second she saw my stricken face. She dumped the pastries on the table and walked me home.

On the way back, I told her everything, or almost everything, but in my story I was paranoid and crazy, and there was no intuitive snake in my belly, no voice screaming predator at me. Our footfalls echoed against the walls of the buildings around us.

“I was imagining it, right? It’s all in my head?”

She threaded her arm through mine as we walked. “I don’t think so, Hazel. If anyone knows what to be afraid of, it’s you. We’ll check on her first thing tomorrow.”

I couldn’t let myself believe I was right. Most of the night I spent staring at the ceiling in my room, trying to convince myself that I had overreacted, that the slithering thing in my belly was not an instinctive warning, but rather the product of a paranoid rape survivor’s overactive imagination. I had barely drifted off to sleep when the sun broke over the roofs of the neighboring houses, but I forced myself out of bed because I wanted to go to breakfast. I wanted to see about Iris, on the off chance I wasn’t totally nuts.

The group had agreed to meet a little later than usual to give everyone time to nurse hangovers and make up for lost sleep. Claire and I walked from our apartment side by side, but I could not make myself look at her. She kept asking if I was okay, and I kept saying “Fine.” I couldn’t think of her on top of worrying about stupid Iris, of all the damn people.

Most of the festival participants had already gathered in the café at the Anfiteatro. A few students giggled as they relayed stories of the previous night’s escapades, though some wore pained expressions and massaged their temples. Still, anticipation vibrated in the air; this was the first full day off since we’d begun the festival, and everyone was eager to let loose for the day, stretch their legs, and explore. Some planned to ride the train to the beach twenty minutes away, while others talked about heading to Pisa, also twenty minutes by train, to tour the Leaning Tower.

I bounced my eyes from person to person.

Claire took my hand. “It’s still early.”

I couldn’t look at her. Irrational fury was chewing away at me; I was angry that she knew enough about me to know that I needed to be reassured. To know why I needed to be reassured. If I’d never told her about my past, she would be as indifferent as the others. I would be indifferent too. Everything would still be solid, cold, reliable, just as before.

We found Katrina and Frank and put in our orders: pastries for the four of us, espresso for Claire, and tea for me.

“Interesting night last night, huh?” said Katrina.

I stared at the table. If I tried small talk, I would probably scream.

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